House hunting is not at all like how it's shown on Million Dollar Listing.

Seriously.  Because I was always looking at how much it would take to clean a house.  Is it strange that when looking at a house I tried to ascertain how much it would take to clean that particular house?  Don't want a house too small or too big. 

I look at all the houses they try to sell on Million Dollar Listing and think, "Holy krap, 6,000 square feet?!" but then remember that if one is buying a $4.5 million dollar home then they can probably afford a full-time housekeeper (not just a maid).

Also, I did not realize that Chad is my age (he seriously looks 12 years old) and that Josh is like 26 or something.  Crazy to be making that kind of money at that age.  I think I like Madison's style out of the three more - I'd trust him to sell my house.  Also, maybe it's because he has the best hair (I still totally want to cut Chad's hair off (seriously, look at this hair, like, just give him a buzz cut!).

We're possibly putting in an offer on a house today.  Scared. To. Death.

The other hard decision: To continue being a SAHM or go back to work full-time?

This is a question that has been crossing my mind for a little while now.  Sometimes at night I'll lay in bed and fantasize.  I fantasize about waking up to freshly brewed coffee (like in that Folgers commercial except it won't be Folgers it will be Tully's French Roast), dressing in clothes that have to be dry cleaned, dressing Austin in a cute outfit and packing him up for a fun day at daycare where he can play with a ton of other babies. Swing my laptop bag over my shoulder along with the diaper bag and tap into my Sidekick to see what meetings need to be attended for the day. 

I drop off Austin and kiss him and tell him I love him.  I let him keep his sock monkey in the diaper bag just in case.

Make my way to work, click-clack my way into my office, dock my laptop and start on emails.  Glance at a picture of Austin and wonder if he's napping at daycare yet.  Drink a latte (that someone else made), go to a meeting to review Powerpoint edits and sneak a peek at my phone, I mean, there's a possibility he fell down and hit his head and had to go to the emergency room for stitches and they are trying to reach me(!!!).  Head to lunch and wonder if Austin is eating the Chicken Mango Risotto dish and if he'll skip is Apple Blueberry sauce.  I only eat half my lunch.

The rest of the day is predictable, demanding and filled with whiny, pouting clients and my instinct is to check their diaper or try to put them down for a nap. 

I spend the next 45 minutes trying to get to the daycare but all the construction around campus has put traffic into a complete standstill.  I try to find the CD with Lullaby Renditions of The Cure for when I pick up Austin.  Finally pick him up.  When I see him I can't let go because suddenly a flashback of the past 9 months plays like a bad movie trailer through my head - the first time he rolled over, first time he sat up unassisted, the first time he pooped in the tub, the day I caught him rocking on all fours, and the next day how he pushed backwards all the way to the TV with his sock in mouth.  I don't want to miss any of it. 

Why would I want to go back to work?  My doctor told me that I needed to because my personality just doesn't resonate with staying at home all day with a baby and that being at home seems to cause much of my anxiety.  And, I have to somewhat agree.  I become too obsessive about things.  When it came to diapers I seriously spent hours researching them.  Diapers.  I have a four-year degree and I spent hours researching diapers online.

Does it make me a bad mom because I am able to stay home (financially) to raise Austin but may choose not to?

And how does one sequester work and home life and still be truly successful at both roles?

Then there's the other question: Am I completely over-thinking the decision?(!)

Things I forgot to post in my favorite baby crap list last time.

• Pacifier Wipes - I don't really use these for wiping off pacifiers after they fall on the floor but I do use them to wipe Austin's hands and face, wiping down his high chair and sometimes wiping my own hands after getting them into something while out and about.  I highly recommend, they are sold at Target for $3.99/pack and are made of food-grade ingredients.
  
• Peg Perego Rocker High Chair - I love this high chair if only because it reclines back really easily so that Austin can feed himself a bottle after a small meal.  I don't know much about high chairs, but this one really works well for us. (I'm kind of surprised at the feedback on amazon.com about this chair).  Although the one drawback is that it's kinda big. 
• Fisher Price Select a Show Soother - the graphics on this thing aren't the greatest when projected and it has to be placed really close to the wall for them to really show, but Austin has been falling asleep to this lately so it has been a life saver. 
• Flash Beat Drum - One of Austin's very favorite toys!
  

The Halloween story in which a pirate and gypsy partied together.

What a fun Halloween!  It's strange how I never dressed up for the holiday, but now, since having a child it makes me want to and go trick or treating. 

Austin heading up his ship stroller.  His bling is to the left but you can't really see it in the pic.

There was a fab party going on over our neighbor's house, just like Holly Golightly would have done and funny enough the hostess was Holly Golightly for Halloween which was perfect!

Austin and me.  He looks more like my gypsy minion than a pirate here.

And for fun... here's what Austin was doing last Halloween. 

October 2008.  Yes.  That's him growing too big for his residence. 

And this year...

After being evicted. 

Hope everyone had a fun-filled, spooky weekend!

Things that have taken place this week which I wish didn't take place.

• It's raining and cold.  The dreary season has appeared and will not be making an exit any time soon. 
• Bored.  With the weather being so crappy and the mom's group I (very recently) joined not having many play dates for Austin's age we've been practically housebound.  
• Austin has been taking 3 hour naps in the morning which isn't really a problem, but I find that I procrastinate still don't get any housework done due to watching TV (which, I don't really watch TV so you know something is wrong!). I think back to when Austin did not nap at all in the beginning and it's hard to believe that he takes two solid naps a day now.
  
• Poor MF (Mommy Friend) had to put her cat down today.  So sad.  Poor kitty.
• Our washer broke.  And it's not fun when you have an almost 9 month old learning to eat finger foods and drink out of a sippy cup (although, that's only water) and mash his peas into his shirt and pants for fun.  Not to mention the dirty cloth diapers.  Bah.
• Swine flu (a-hem) H1N1 hit our street so it makes me wonder what Halloween will be like this year.  I wonder how many kids will be wearing Hazmat suits as their costume.  It was sad to not see all the kids out playing in the street for the past couple of weeks.
  
• I noticed that one foot is like 1/8th of a size bigger than the other.  I'm pretty sure this is due to the pregnancy.  Seriously. 
  
  

Has anyone else wanted to wear one of these lately?

This is what I'm talking about.

Or even this?  (I think I just found my Halloween costume)

My last post regarding this ickiness can be found here.

Apparently, it is taking over or at least our street.  What I find interesting is that even if people wanted to get the vaccine and are in the "high risk" group - they can't get it.  Hospitals and clinics (at least here in our county) are slow in getting the vaccine if they have it at all and so those in the "high risk" groups are having to cross their fingers that they have a chance for receiving the vaccination.  And even then I'm assuming the vaccine doesn't work right away, that it probably takes at least a week to kick in. 

[Repeat] At this point, I feel like they are trying to sell the American public an umbrella on day 5 of a major hurricane. 


So, if you are unable to get the vaccine but want some form of protection the following was advice from our ND: (please consult your pediatrician/doctor before taking supplements)

• Vitamin D 2,000 IUD for adults  (1,000 IUD for babies/kids) 
  
• 500 mg Vitamin C 3 times a day
• Lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, limit intake of processed foods as it can lower immune system
• Adequate rest (I'm still working on this one!)
• Exercise (this one too!)
• Wash hands frequently, keep hands away from face

I've also read that doing a nasal rinse and drinking hot tea throughout the day helps to wash away viruses that can get "stuck" in the nasal/throat area.  The above info may not be as effective as a vaccine, but if you can't get the vaccine, it's better than nothing!

A potpourri of thanks and randomness

This is me.  This is me with a cold. This is me with a cold taking care of my infant son.  This is me with a cold taking care of my infant son while my husband was out of town.  This is me with a cold taking care of my infant son while my husband was out of town for 7 days, 6 nights.  With. No. Help.  (Except for my MF who is awesome and helped me when I had to get to a denist appointment!)

We're still alive.  And completely thankful we haven't caught whatever is going around our cul de sac.  A terrible something, that might be swine flu.  Not sure if anyone knows for sure.

I'm thankful that I had almost no anxiety during this week, none, zilch.  Which, if you have read past posts about my anxiety/depression, just being left alone with Austin for a day when Scooter is gone to work - you'll understand this a huge thing for me.   Big accomplishment for me.

I know women that have raised two kids with husbands deployed for months, a year and have survived - one of them being my mom (the other my aunt) so complaints did not escape my mouth this week except for the silent pleading for Neil to hurry home only because my cold has seriously been bringing me down physically.   I'll have to get accustomed to the husband traveling as this is part of his job, traveling to conferences, and so, I will. 

 Austin - 7days old.

And, I'm thankful for having such a wonderfully, natured almost-9-months-old boy.  He has no idea how much happiness he brings to me, but hopefully I can show him one day. 

                                               

Austin - 8 months old.

(Don't worry, the cord is a lot farther away than it appears in this pic!)

On another note:  Did anyone watch the season finale of Real Housewives of Atlanta?  Between getting Austin to bed and downing my Theraflu I was able to catch almost all of it.  I really liked Sheree's fashion show!  Although, I do have to agree with Lisa that there were all seasons represented in the collection versus concentrating on one season like most fashion shows.  Nene, she got all crazy on Kim!  Oh, Kim...ugh.  That's all I can say about that.

Real Housewives of Atlanta - Kim needs to go away. Million Dollar Listing - Chad's hair needs to be cut.

I mainly love his hair because it must take some serious skill to be able to see from underneath it.  Million Dollar Listing is my latest indulgence that really should not be made public, although it isn't half as bad as my other indulgence. 

Seriously??  What is up with Kim?  And "Big Poopa Poppa asked her to marry him - this will be interesting.  I do like Kandi as she seems to be normal and so sad to hear about her fiance.  Sheree, what is up with her?  Kim and Sheree should just be locked in a room together and be forced to stare at each other for days and then Kim should be forced to wear one of Sheree's fashion pieces while Sheree listens to Kim's sing out of tune.

Ok, Madison on Million Dollar Listings just tried to describe his sexuality.  I assumed he was gay although they showed his ex-girlfriend.  He was explaining that he's polyamorous.  Interesting.